Dr. West

  

Case History:

My Wife Agrees To

A Sex Gangbang

 


      Somewhere in the list of sexual experiences are so-called gangbangs, which the dictionary defines as, "Copulation by several persons in succession with the same passive partner."

By "passive," we have to assume "willing"; and by "partner," we are generally referring to a woman.

Whereas a women with their almost unlimited sexual capacity can engage in gangbangs, despite ED drugs, men are far more limited.

To prove their capacity for sex - or to prove whatever - a few women have been known to have sex with several hundred men in one day.

 During World War II some prostitutes in Hawaii regularly had sex with more than 100 soldiers a day by circulating between a series of rooms.

Even so, the sex was sequential, not in a sense simultaneous.

Once a woman becomes interested in trying new sexual experiences, she may decide to spend a night the same bed with two men .

Then at some point she may allow, or be encouraged to allow, several men to have sex with her in the same setting -- what the dictionary defines as a gangbang.

Men can be fascinated with watching what their female partner does with different men; or, to turn it around, watching a man have sex with their wife or girlfriend. This is reportedly the number one male fantasy.

Gangbangs typically start in either male or female fantasies. Over time plans may be made to act on the fantasy. Once committed, pride, testosterone and possibly a bit of alcohol can push things along. Later, feelings of female regret or male jealousy may emerge.

Consensual Gangbang

Case History: Will and Julie

(From redacted transcript provided by a male colleague.)

      In adhering to professional ethics, the names, dates, and locations were blacked out before I received the account. Among other things, this transcript clearly and rather graphically spells out the feelings that surround this type of voyeuristic male experience.

Since the male perspective and feelings are often lacking in e-mail accounts, I have decided to present this in some detail.

As you will see, the male subject has some interesting insights into his own feelings — feelings that are typical in these situations. It undoubtedly helps for a male subject to be talking to a male therapist.

As in most of these case histories, I've reconstructed the original dialogue. At the same time, I've tried to retain the original intent and feeling — complete with telling redundancies. (The subject's words are in italics; the therapist's words in standard type.)

...I've had this fantasy for years, and I'd talk about it with Julie [my wife]. ...I would tell her that I would like her to be known as hot and uninhibited....not like the wives some men are always complaining about.

Julie wanted to know what they complained about. I said, "About the stuff they won't do in bed and the stuff they remember from other women. ...I remember one time she said, "If I was really like that, could you handle it?" I boldly said, "Sure."

...I've known several guys for a long time; we go fishing and bowling and stuff together, and we talk about sex a lot, the way men do.... It turned me on to picture different guys between Julie's legs and her really getting off on it....

...Well, I kept talking about it to her and Julie finally saw that this was becoming serious, I mean not just a fantasy, and she said, "You're saying you really want me to make it with these friends of yours?"

I said, "Yes."

I remember she looked right at me and asked, "You're serious; you really want me to be in a gangbang?"

I guess it finally sunk in, and she said, "I thought this was just a fantasy."

I guess then I said something like, "Well, MaryAnn did it, so I guess you could, unless you don't think you could handle it....all of them."

[MaryAnn was a woman who he had talked about previously who reportedly had sex with several men during a drunken camping trip while her husband just watched.

It's also important to note that MaryAnn was reportedly pretty, flirtatious, and although women thought she was a tramp, they were jealous of how men got excited around her.]

      She [Julie] thought about it for a few days — she has kind of a wild streak in her, although no one would know it — and after I brought it up again, she said, "A girl in my high-school did that, let guys take turns with her at private parties, or so we heard. But, knowing her, she was probably pretty drunk."

Finally, she asked, "So would these guys tell everyone?"

I could see that maybe she was getting close to agreeing, so I said, "How could they? They have too much to lose if their wives found out."

She thought some more about it, and said, "I'll think about it."

"How long will that take?"

I was pushing her, and she knew it, but she finally said, "I'll let you know."

Later that night in bed she just said, "I've always wondered if I could do something like that -- what it would be like."

I suddenly got a real rush having her say that, but I wanted to make sure. "So you'll do it?"

We talked about it some more, and she finally said, "Set it up."

...Anyway, I invited four of my friends — the ones I liked the most — over one Saturday afternoon to watch a football game. An extra guy showed up, but as it turned out that worked out okay.

Julie had briefly met all of them at one time or another when they had come to the house to watch football. She really didn't know any of them that well, but, they were definitely aware of her.

I had been thinking about how it might play out for a long time and I sort of had it all planned out in my head.

...Well, I kind of led the conversation into a discussion of sex. ...Then I guess the hardest part for me was eventually coming right out and saying that it was okay if they had sex with Julie.

At first they just laughed, but then I said, "Julie's already said she'll do it."

That sort of really got their attention and totally changed the atmosphere.

 

      So anyway, I was in the living room with the guys after the game. Finally, one guy finally came right out and asked, "You're saying that it would be okay if we all make it with Julie, right here, today?

I really couldn't look at him, but I said, "Julie said she's willing...I guess she wants to see what it would be like....but maybe you'd better get going with it before she changes her mind."

By then this had come pretty far, and I was sort of committed, and I think I was wanting it to start before I changed my mind, or things fell apart. I mean it would be really embarrassing if after all that, nothing happened and they just left. By then it had gone well past the joke stage.

Then one of them went into the kitchen where Julie was and said, "This is kind of hard to believe, but your husband says he wants to make you sort of a gift to all of us, and he says you're okay with that. Julie looks and acts prim and proper-like with her blond hair and all, and I guess they just didn't think she would be capable of something like this.

And she said, "I guess you are talking about sex, and yes, I told him I'm willing."

Then he said, "All of us, right now?"

And we heard Julie as clear as day say, "Yes."

And he says, "You're not joking about this; you really would?"

And she said kind of defiantly, "I said I'll do it."

So then he brought her into the living room where were all were. And for a while, everybody was just quiet, wondering if this was real, or what.

...It was kind of a make or break awkward moment, so I figured I needed to break the ice, so I walked over and started undoing some her clothes.

Julie looked at me like, "I guess you are really serious." I took off her blouse, and then I undid her bra, and the guys were staring at her breasts.

At that point I guess she decided that this was going to happen so she unzipped her skirt and dropped it on the floor. Then she was just standing there in front of everybody wearing her panties.

...Seeing my wife in front of my friends with just her panties on was a real jolt. I didn't think it would get this far, this fast....

The guys were all kind of drinking it in, and I was thinking that she must be really embarrassed, but then I guess Julie felt it was a bit late to change her mind, so she reached down and slipped off her panties and sort of looked at the guys like, "Okay, here's what you've been promised.''


...Before long, the guys started messaging her shoulders, not knowing exactly how to proceed.

 At first, Julie kept looking at me to make sure I wasn't going to change my mind about this.

 When I didn't say anything, she started coming on to them like, "I guess this is what I'm supposed to do," or something.

At one point Julie pulled one guy's face up to her breast and held it there. He started sucking on her nipple and she started responding like it was turning her on. I guess at this point she was just sort of faking it or feeling she needed to put on a show.

Well, the guys really responded to that and things were starting to move. 

I had a strong urge to stop things right then; but, then again, I sort of figured it was up to Julie to do that. And I also wanted to see it happen. Plus, I guess none of the guys wanted to chicken out and have that go around.

You wanted it to happen? Why is that?

I guess for one thing, it was like the fantasy had finally started and maybe there would never be another time....

Sometimes you don't get a second chance at stuff.

And that's all?

Well, to let guys in on what I have. When it comes to sex they seem to be always complaining about their wives.

So that was your total motivation?

Well, part of it. ...Julie can get kind of wild when she's trying to make it [climax]....I wanted them to see the way she can really lose it and yell stuff out and all.  I'm sure they've never seen anyone like her and they would really remember it.... I mean, she's got a terrific body, and I just want them to know what I have. I wanted to let them feel what it would be like to make it with her.

Before you talked about wanting to watch men with her.

That's been my major fantasy for a long time, to watch men fuck her and come in her.

Why?

[defensvely]I don't know, why!  Can you really explain fantasies?

But I wanted her to be the kind of woman that would be willing to do it. But, at the same time, I knew that would probably cause a lot of problems, and I for sure that's what I'm dealing with now!

Okay, but why all [of them] at once like that; don't you think...?

[Interrupts] That's the only way they would all know; could all see it...see how she is. ...and I wanted to let them all see her getting it from different guys. 

Most women think sex is a private thing. Didn't you think she might feel humiliated by what you wanted her to do?

  

Like I said, Julie has kind of a wild streak — you know, behind closed doors, and all. ...She responded to the fantasies....I think she just needed someone to push her into it.

Do the two of you regularly have sex?

I guess, whatever "regularly" is.

Does she seem sexually satisfied?

Well, I guess; but ....my work is pretty tiring.

So she's not always sexually satisfied?"

Maybe not some of the time.

And, this makes you feel....how?

Aren't we getting off the subject of what happened here?

You've been married....how long, over six years? When did these fantasies start?

I don't know; I guess they have been going on for a long time.

(The subject is then asked about his marriage and the conversation then drifts into a brief discussion of the subject's family and his relationship with them. None of this — at least on first pass — is beyond what we may call normal parameters.  The subject then resumes his story.)

Well, after being massaged, fondled, and stuff by the men for a while, Julie said, "I guess we had better take this into the bedroom."

I remember my heart was really racing. I tried to say something, but voice was funny.

I was the last one into the bedroom and I even considered escaping the situation and finding out about what happened later; but, I figured if I left the whole thing might stop and Julie would be really embarrassed.

Plus that would really make it look as if I couldn't handle it, and that's the last thing I wanted....

So she was on the bed and she had taken her panties off, and the guys were just standing around staring at her body. Finally, Julie pulled one of the guys close to the bed and unzipped his pants, massaged him a bit, and right away started giving him oral sex. 

 I couldn't believe what I was seeing! My wife, right in front of everybody like that.

It was like unreal; tremendously exciting and tremendously disturbing all at the same time.

It was like this was what I wanted all along, but still I wasn't ready for it. I guess all along I had figured that Julie would stop things at some point.  

But it was like at this point things had gone too far; she couldn't suddenly change her mind.

And then after a bit she pulled him on the bed on top of her, and she just opened her legs, and reached down and guided him in.

And in those few seconds when everyone saw his penis disappear into her, it was like after all the time I had thought about this, it was happening — it had happened — and there was no going back.

She looked over at me as if to say, 'I guess I surprised you, didn't I?"

...And like right away, they were holding onto each other and moving together. .... I remember the guys looked over at me to see how I was handling it.

Seeing what she did sort of took care of any doubts the others may have had, and the atmosphere in the room changed.

The guys knew now that Julie wasn't going to change her mind, and that they were going to get a turn with her.... It wasn't until that point that the rest of them stripped off their clothes.

I just sort of sat back in a corner and watched. It's like I didn't want to get too close. I was like embarrassed, or scared, or something, I don't know....

(There is a long pause, and the therapist apparently thinks he's going to talk about that, but he chooses not to, and continues.)

It was different than I thought, different than my fantasy. (Pause.) The guys acted different than I thought they would, and so did Julie. It was all different...very different.

The guys seemed scared and reluctant at first, which surprised me. Maybe it was because she was my wife.

I think Julie was especially worried about that, you know, that she might be rejected after she offered herself to them. That would really be humiliating, humiliating for both of us.

 I guess that's why she kind of dove into things the way she did; like she was committed and wasn't going to turn back.

....After a while, there was the smell of sex and of bodies. That was something I hadn't thought about.  ... I have a lot of very mixed feelings.

That's understandable.

I need to tell you some of the other stuff. It's all like very personal and embarrassing, but it's what's on my mind about it, and I guess I need to talk about it; get it out.

Seeing my wife there in front of everyone like that, looking at the guys...she looked so vulnerable, and I felt sorry for her; sorry I had done this. I flashed on how all this could be a gigantic mistake that it was too late to undo.

Watching it, I was thinking how, in a way, it wasn't that big of a deal; I mean nobody was being tortured or hurt or anything; in fact, quite the opposite.

I mean, with all the hatred, evil, and sadistic things going on in the world, why do people freak out about something like this?


next part

 

NOTE: Sexual disease, especially AIDS, is widespread. Sex with anyone other than a trusted partner requires protection — generally in the form of a condom. Although if properly used, condoms provide a high degree of protection, that protection is not 100%.


 

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