"Blacking" My Wife
(First, the e-mail, and
then a discussion by Dr. Weston on the
fascination with black-on-white sex.)
show that in the last few
decades the libidos (sexual
drive) of white, American men
has been dropping.
This is causing many white women
with strong sexual needs to turn
to black lovers -- often with
their husband's permission and
since I saw this movie about a black football
player making it with a white woman that looked
like my wife, I haven't been able to get the
fantasy out of my mind
Judging from the hundreds of
Internet sites devoted to black-on-white sex, I
know that this idea is popular with men—mostly
with white, middle-to-upper-class men like me.
I think having a wife that
uninhibited would be exciting.
Why do white men like me
want to see this?
may not be the mystery it seems — although some
men may not like a few parts of the explanation.
Before we get to that, readers
say that one of the most detailed
explanations for this is
right here on this site.
This account explains many of the
dating back hundreds of years
show that white women had sex
with black slaves (and sometimes
got pregnant) back when
black-on-white sex was totally
Although clearly engaged in, it
was almost never mentioned in
the slave situation back then, the sex appears
to have often been invited by the woman.
motivations were facts that the husband was
often away from the plantation for long periods
of time while a wife was observing a virile,
muscular black man working around the
The fact that women
get horny just as men do was not accepted back
So some wives
secretly satisfied their needs by coupling with
willing black slaves. If they got pregnant, they
might find a sudden need to visit a relative in
another country until the babies were born.
those days many slaves were selected and even
bred for work for their physical attributes --
characteristics that have remained significant
throughout the centuries.
many women find the idea of black-on-white sex
intriguing -- especially with the folklore about
the attributes of black lovers.
In some circles
a white women having a black lover is for her
a symbol of sexual prowess. This often
starts in high
Although some say black male
attributes are just folklore based on Internet
porn, there is solid evidence that black men on
average have penises somewhat longer and bigger
around than white or Asian men.
Because they typically have more
physical lifestyles, they also tend to be able
to continue sex longer, thus having a greater
chance of bringing the woman to orgasm.
know from our e-mail, if nothing else, that a
significant number of white women who are
married to low libido white men have black
All this accounts for some of the
Internet traffic to mixed-race sites (and even
to this site), but it doesn't explain the great
black-on-white interest that many middle-class white males have in
Some of our letters
The following are parts of a white
male's letter we received but didn't publish a
the time, because it was a bit too graphic. (You've been warned.)
never experienced more sexual excitement than
when I watched Arnold, a muscular black man
crawl on top of my pretty little white
wife and push his very
large cock up into her.
I'll never forget the expression
on her face when she realized it was
I knew this would change things
for her, especially when people found out.
...The whole thing had been my
idea. But even after a few drinks, she
was nervous enough to insist that I stay in
I'd heard he had a big penis and
that he could go a long time.
I not only wanted my wife to
experience both, but at the same time, get
past her little issue with blacks.
When he approached her [on the
bed] she had her legs locked together. Then he
started softly talking to her.
...After he undid her blouse and
bra started sucking on her breasts, she
In my mind it was critical that
she reach a point of not wanting things to
Even so, it took her a long time for her to
open her legs -- making the invitation clear.
For me the anticipation had been
Seeing his large, black cock
disappear up into my wife caused my heart to
race to a point I thought that I was going to
have a heart attack.
...Their bodies were totally
different. His was black and muscular and he
was on top of a body that was very white and
delicate looking -- and very familiar to me.
was able to just keep going --
much longer than I ever
could. I knew that's
what it was going to take for
was holding her down with her hands above her
head and was fully into her.
I liked seeing the way he had
taken her over.
At some point she lost her
reservations about what was happening and
totally surrendered to him. That's what I
had been waiting for.
very different people had now synchronized
their movement with the same primal objective:
him to shoot sperm into my wife and her to
...Seeing his black body
between my wife's legs working away to come in
her is something I will never forget!
while she wrapped her legs around him and
started making the noises she makes when she's
starting to come. Once she came, she couldn't
deny this had worked.
being prejudiced about black
men I watched her move to a
point of willingly
surrendering herself in one in
the most intimate way
was obvious that he was about to come, she
glanced at me to see if I knew. Then, she
pulled him tight against her and loudly
I got the
distinct impression that she came as he did.
this e-mail we can note several things which
will be discussed below.
Motivations For Black-on-White
from studies that for many people "risk" increases sexual
excitement and facilitates orgasms.
A white wife having an affair with
a black man provides "risk' on several levels --
for both the husband and his wife.
even though she's using birth
control, a black man ejaculating
into a white wife conjures up
the thought of pregnancy.
is also the excitement surrounding people
finding out that a white woman has "gone
black" (has been blackened) with all the
According to one husband,
"Given the women that try to avoid sex, I
would secretly like it to be known that my
wife is woman enough to handle a 'black
a wife with a black
another attraction to
husbands with cuckold
husbands commonly feel
that their wives will not
leave them for someone 'so
different,' and thus they may
feel safe in having their
wives engage in black-on-white
as we've heard from writers, there can be a
Once she gets used to a larger penis size and
higher level of sexual endurance and excitement,
not to mention the clitoral stimulation, she may
not be able to be satisfied by less.
Soon, she may become dependent upon these
things -- and especially the latter -- to
Thus, there may be a grain of truth in the
saying, "Once you've had black, you won't go
Interestingly, some white
husbands want their wives to develop this "problem" so than a more threatening
affair with a white man will not be as satisfying.
We also can't discount
the effect that sexual excitement surrounding
the "taboo" aspects of black-on-white sex. In a
time of social conformity many women see it as
an act of rebellion.
Although white women may not consider a black man as a permanent mate, she can experience excitement in having sex with someone that is quite different from the WASP men she's used to.
are other reasons for the fascination with
A popular explanation is that
these men want to see women (and their wives)
humbled or "tamed" by an act that society still
considers somewhat "taboo."
We hear from women writers that
the black men they meet tend to be much more
aggressive, thus breaking through their sexual
A black lover may get a wife to do
things that not only her husband would not
suggest, but she would refuse to do if he did.
This, in itself, has been the motivation for
some husbands to suggest black lovers.
place of women in society has
for centuries been influenced by the anti-women,
subservient tone of the Old
find this hard to believe
until they consider the
influence on religion that
these have had
throughout the centuries.
explanations for black-on-white sex are not too
popular -- as for example, the degradation
For some men watching their
wives suck on a black penis or welcoming it
inside of her is the height of this experience.
(Ironically, some wives feel that doing this in
front of their husband is humiliating for him --
so maybe everyone gets what they want.)
that the most popular Internet porn category for
white men involves videos and the
tens-of-thousands of photos of white girls
(including wives) giving black men oral sex.
This may or may not be followed by vaginal
One site has more than 2,000 photos of different white women
engaged in sex acts with with black lovers.
also can't discount the fact that many women
have a psychological need for submission.
This explains some of the black
pimp - white prostitute relationships.
Although we might assume that being a prostitute
is never by choice, for some women it meets a
psychological (although neurotic and sometimes
the hotwife phenomena
husbands may find it sexually stimulating to
have wives that provide men with sex.
antiquity this would have resulted in more
children, and back then children were wealth.
To achieve this goal, especially
when they couldn't, some husbands secretly
"bred" their wives with fertile men. Since
providing children was also a status symbol, a wife might readily agree.
Even today "wife breeding" is not totally uncommon.
terms of evolution, female submission often
preceded impregnation -- and in a sense was
necessary for it.
It's easy to see how this
trait could be passed along in progeny.
Possibly this is another trait
subsumed in evolution which cultural and
religious values have attempted to suppress with
varying degrees of success.
And then there is
As we've suggested, for many people sexual
excitement is enhanced by risk.
In today's society many
people are looking for things that will break
them free of the routine and mundane, and
add excitement to their lives. Since
black-on-white sex is still somewhat taboo, this
can add that element.
less popular explanation (for many men) is
that many black men are large and muscular —
resembling the athletes they see on TV — and
that excites latent homosexual feelings.
(Despite what they might admit, no man is
absolutely, 100%, heterosexual.)
cultural conditioning makes
many women come across as
'above sex.' Seeing his
wife adjust to and eventually
even want to have sex with black
men can destroy this attitude.
to one husband, "She didn't act nearly as 'high
and mighty' once people knew she was regularly
getting it from black men. Although this reveals
prejudice, nevertheless it's a reality in some
the same time, many men are threatened by an
uninhibited wife with a strong sexual appetite.
This is reflected in the appeal of
some religions and religious groups that have
instituted strict anti-sex religious beliefs,
which, historically, were aimed primarily at
And need we mention the female
genital mutilation intended (by men) to keep
women from enjoying sex.
It is reported that during early
times only a woman could commit adultery and men
were free to have multiple wives and even visit
somewhat more admirable motivation is
represented by husbands who have written to say
they wanted their wives to experience some sort
of a maximum sexual experience not limited by
finally, one of the more "far out" explanations
for black-on-white sex is based in
This one holds that
men who push their wives to have black lovers
(or white women who seek black lovers) had black
slaves in previous lives and this is an
unconscious way of balancing the karmic scales.
We will leave you
to accept or reject that one.
As racial barriers continue to
fall, at some point we may be able to erase
tensions and misunderstandings based on race.
Children from these mixed relationships -- and
even now there are many -- will represent a
racial meld that will span racial categories and
(hopefully) eventually erase racial divides.