The Attraction of
Often, the husband was away from the plantation for long periods of time while the wife watched virile, muscular black men working around the plantation.
the slave situation back then, the sex was often
initiated by the women or wife, although, if found out,
she typically denied it.
If the women got pregnant,
they might find a sudden need to visit a relative in
another country until the babies were born.
In those days many slaves were selected and even bred for work based on their physical attributes -- characteristics that have remained significant throughout the decades.
Today, many women find the idea of black-on-white sex arousing, especially considering the folklore about the attributes of black lovers.
This even starts in high school where many white girls vie for desirable black boyfriends.
some say black male attributes are just folklore based
on Internet porn, there is evidence that black men
on average have penises longer and bigger around than
white or Asian men.
We know that the human male has a penis size significantly larger than that of other primates.
First, penis size is related probability of getting sperm into the cervix. The less distance involved from the penis to the uterus the higher the probability of pregnancy.
Second, penis size has been linked to female orgasm. There is now evidence that orgasm increases the probability of pregnancy by sucking sperm into the cervix during intercourse.
white women may be also be attracted to black lovers because the racial
difference and taboo elements create excitement. Sexual excitement
creates desire, which is also related to the probability of sex and, of
Because they typically have more physical lifestyles, black lovers also tend to be able to continue sex longer, thus having a greater chance of bringing the woman to orgasm.
All this accounts for some of the Internet traffic to mixed-race sites (and even to this site), but it doesn't explain the great black-on-white interest that many middle-class white males have in black-on-white sex.
Some of our letters provide clues.
The following are parts of a white male's letter we originally didn't publish at the time because it was a bit too graphic for the time.
I have never experienced more sexual excitement than when I watched Arnold, a muscular black man crawl on top of my pretty little white wife and push his large cock up into her.
...The whole thing had been my idea. But even after a few drinks, she was nervous enough to insist that I stay in the room.
I'd heard he had a big penis and that he could go a long time.
I not only wanted my wife to experience both, but at the same time, get past her issue with blacks.
When he originally approached her [on the bed] she had her legs locked together. Arnold started softly talking in her ear.
...After he undid her blouse and bra started sucking on her breasts, she gradually relaxed.
In my mind it was critical that she reach a point of not wanting things to stop.
It was obvious that Arnold was turned on with the prospect of pushing his sizable erection into my wife.It took her a long time for her to become wet and open her legs -- making her invitation clear.
For me the anticipation had been incredible.
Seeing his large, black cock disappear into my wife caused my heart to race to a point I thought that I was going to have a heart attack.
...Their bodies were totally different. His was black and muscular and he was on top of a body that was very white and delicate looking -- and very familiar to me.
- He was able to just keep going -- much longer than I ever could. I knew that's what it was going to take for her to climax.
...Arnold was holding her down with her hands above her head. I liked seeing the way he had taken her over.
At some point she lost her reservations about what was happening and totally surrendered to him. That's what I had been waiting for.
There was a primal excitement in seeing his black body between my wife's legs working away to cum in her.
...Two very different people had now synchronized their movement with the same primal objective: him to shoot his sperm deep into my wife and her to receive it.
...After a while she wrapped her legs around him and started making the noises she makes when she's starting to cum. Once she did, she couldn't deny this had worked.
From being prejudiced about black men I watched her move to a point of willingly surrendering herself in one in the most intimate way possible.
...When it was obvious that he was about to cum, she glanced at me to see if I knew. She saw that I wasn't about to stop things. Then, she pulled him tight against her and loudly encouraged him. For me this was the moment this whole gamble paid off.
...I'm sure she felt him release his sperm into her, and given her reaction I got the impression that she came as he did.
In this e-mail we can note several things which will be discussed below.
A white wife having an affair with a black man provides "risk' on several levels -- for both the husband and his wife.
There is also the excitement surrounding people finding out that a white woman has "gone black" (has been blacked) with all the associated folklore.
There is an ever-growing number of husbands encouraging their wives to have experiences with new sexual partners -- as long as the husbands retain ultimate control. This level of control is not possible with girlfriends.
Although there is still a social stigma surrounding a "wandering wife," society is slowly moving to the time when affairs will be reluctantly accepted, or at least forgiven. The United States is behind many other countries in this regard.
A recent study indicated that almost 50% of women are seriously tempted to have sex with someone other than their spouse or live-in partner. The percentage is slightly higher for men.
There is also evidence that the majority of white women have entertained the thought of having sex with a desirable black man. Interestingly -- probably due to the great amount of porno on the subject -- the majority of white husbands have fantasized about their wives having sex with black men.
Such findings bring the issue of innate monogamy among human beings into question. Citing evolutionary evidence, some people say that monogamy is actually a socially imposed human condition and not a natural one.
Although affairs used to signify cheating, it's not considered "cheating" when the husband approves and even encourages the wife to experience new lovers.
As noted on some of the letters on this site, some wives encourage their husbands to allow them to experiment with new sexual partners. Once she has her husband's approval she doesn't risk destroying a marriage as she would with a clandestine affair.
And, after a decade or so of marriage many wives welcome the chance to experience sex with someone new.
Although either can be a threat to a relationship, compared to a live-in girlfriend, a wife affords more control for the husband and more marital security.
as we've heard from writers, there can be a problem.
Once she gets used to a larger penis size and higher level of sexual endurance, excitement, and clitoral stimulation, she may not be able to be satisfied by less. She may become dependent upon these things to reach orgasm.
Thus, there may be a grain of truth in the saying, "Once you've had black, you won't go back."
Interestingly, some white husbands want their wives to develop this "problem" so than a more threatening affair with a white man will not be as tempting or satisfying.
We also can't discount the effect that sexual excitement surrounding the "taboo" aspects of black-on-white sex.
In a time of social conformity many women see it as a subtle act of rebellion. This is especially true of white, teen-age girls that vie for desirable black boyfriends.
Although white women may not consider a black man as a permanent mate, she can experience excitement in having sex with someone that is quite different from the white men she's used to.
As women/wives get older, they may desire more sex -- more than their husbands can provide.
For many white wives carefully selected black lovers are the answer. In many cases this is with the husband's approval, or even encouragement.
There are other reasons for the fascination with black-on-white sex.
A popular explanation is that these men want to see women (and their wives) humbled or "tamed" by an act that society still considers somewhat "taboo."
We hear from women writers that the black
men they meet tend to be much more aggressive, thus
breaking through their sexual reservations.
A black lover may get a wife to do things that her husband would not suggest.
This, in itself, has been the motivation for some husbands to suggest black lovers.
Some explanations for black-on-white sex are not too popular -- as for example, the degradation explanation.
For some men watching their wives suck
on a black penis or welcoming it inside of her is the
height of this experience. (Ironically, some wives feel
that doing this in front of their husbands is
humiliating for them -- so maybe everyone gets what they
We also can't discount the fact that some women have a psychological need for submission.
In terms of evolution submission often precedes impregnation -- and in a sense was necessary for it.
It's easy to see how this trait could be passed along in progeny.
And then there is this.
This also explains some of the black pimp - white prostitute relationships.
Although we might assume that being a prostitute is never by choice, for some women it meets a psychological need.
we suggested earlier, sexual excitement is enhanced by
In today's society many people are looking for things that will break them free of the routine and mundane and add excitement to their lives. Since black-on-white sex is still somewhat taboo, this can add that element.
A less popular explanation (for many men) is that many black men are large and muscular — resembling the athletes they see on TV — and that excites latent homosexual feelings. (Despite what they might admit, no man is absolutely, 100%, heterosexual.)
According to one husband, "She didn't act
nearly as 'high and mighty' once people knew she was
regularly getting it from black men. Although this
clearly reveals prejudice, nevertheless it's a reality in some
At the same time, many men are threatened by an uninhibited wife with a strong sexual appetite.
This is reflected in fact that of some
religions and religious groups that have instituted
strict anti-sex mandates, which, historically,
were aimed primarily at women.
And need we mention the female genital
mutilation intended (by men) to keep women from enjoying
It is reported that during early times only a woman could commit adultery and men were free to have multiple wives and even visit prostitutes.
A somewhat more admirable motivation is represented by husbands who have written to say they wanted their wives to experience a maximum sexual experience not limited by marital exclusivity.
one of the more "far out" explanations for
black-on-white sex is based in reincarnation.
This one holds that men who
push their wives to have black lovers (or white women
who seek black lovers) had black slaves in previous
lives and this is an unconscious way of balancing the
We will leave you to accept or reject that one.
As racial barriers continue to fall, at some point we may be able to erase tensions and misunderstandings based on race.
Children from these mixed relationships -- and even now there are many -- will represent a racial meld that will span racial categories and (hopefully) eventually erase racial divides.