The Attraction of

Black-on-White Sex

(This combines parts of earlier articles.)

From e-mail

        Ever since I saw this movie that included a black football player making it with a white woman that looked like my [white] wife, I haven't been able to get the fantasy out of my mind.

Judging from the hundreds of Internet sites devoted to black-on-white sex, I know that this idea is popular with men -- mostly with white, middle-to-upper-class men like me.

 Why do white men like me want to see this?

" Records dating back hundreds of years show that white women had sex with black slaves (and sometimes got pregnant) back when black-on-white sex was totally taboo. 

Although clearly engaged in, it was almost never mentioned in polite society.


Often, the husband was away from the plantation for long periods of time while the wife watched virile, muscular black men working around the plantation. 

Considering the slave situation back then, the sex was often initiated by the women or wife, although, if found out, she typically denied it.

If the women got pregnant, they might find a sudden need to visit a relative in another country until the babies were born.

In those days many slaves were selected and even bred for work based on their physical attributes -- characteristics that have remained significant throughout the decades.

Today, many women find the idea of black-on-white sex intriguing -- especially with the folklore about the attributes of black lovers.

In some circles a white women having a black lover is  a symbol of her sexual prowess. This even starts in high school where many white girls vie for desirable black boyfriends.

Although some say black male attributes are just folklore based on Internet porn, there is evidence that black men (on average) have penises longer and bigger around than white or Asian men.

" Although recent studies indicate that women don't admit putting penis size high on the list of desirable male attributes, anthropological data suggests that penis size during early times was significant in determining the desirability of a mate. "


Size Does Matter

We know that the human male has a penis size significantly larger than that of other primates.

There are a number of reasons for this, including their greater desirability to females.

First, penis size is related probability of getting sperm into the cervix. The less distance involved from the penis to the uterus the higher the probability of pregnancy.

Given the physiological dynamics involved, pregnancy is difficult, especially considering the perilous journey sperm must take to impregnate an ovum.

Second, penis size has been linked to female orgasm. There is now evidence that orgasm increases the probability of pregnancy by sucking sperm into the cervix.

Finally, white women may be also be attracted to black lovers because the racial difference and taboo elements create excitement. Sexual excitement creates desire, which is also related to the probability of sex and, of course, pregnancy.

Although the number of white men wanting to put their white wives with black lovers is a complex phenomenon, this may in part go back to much earlier times when children were considered wealth because they could contribute to family and agricultural productivity.

Breeding a wife with a strong, virile black man had the advantage of adding to that wealth. Since providing children was a status symbol, a wife might agree.

Even today, "wife breeding" is not unheard of in the United States.

If a white husband is unable to get his wife pregnant, and artificial insemination is not desired, the couple my assume the chances will be better with a black lover, and for the reasons outlined in this article, they may be.

Because they typically have more physical lifestyles, black lovers also tend to be able to continue sex longer, thus having a greater chance of bringing the woman to orgasm. 

All this accounts for some of the Internet traffic to mixed-race sites (and even to this site), but it doesn't explain the great black-on-white interest that many middle-class white males have in black-on-white sex.

Some of our letters provide clues.

The following are parts of a white male's letter we originally didn't publish at the time because it was a bit too graphic for the time.

I have never experienced more sexual excitement than when I watched Arnold, a muscular black man crawl on top of my pretty little white wife and push his large cock up into her.

...The whole thing had been my idea.  But even after a few drinks, she was nervous enough to insist that I stay in the room.

I'd heard he had a big penis and that he could go a long time.

I not only wanted my wife to experience both, but at the same time, get past her issue with blacks.

When he originally approached her [on the bed] she had her legs locked together. Arnold started softly talking in her ear.

...After he undid her blouse and bra started sucking on her breasts, she gradually relaxed and got turned on.

In my mind it was critical that she reach a point of not wanting things to stop.

It was obvious that Arnold was turned on with the prospect of pushing his sizable erection into my wife.

It took her a long time for her to open her legs -- making her invitation clear.

For me the anticipation had been incredible.

Seeing his large, black cock disappear into my wife caused my heart to race to a point I thought that I was going to have a heart attack. 

...Their bodies were totally different. His was black and muscular and he was on top of a body that was very white and delicate looking -- and very familiar to me.

" He was able to just keep going -- much longer than I ever could.  I knew that's what it was going to take for her to climax. "


...Arnold was holding her down with her hands above her head. I liked seeing the way he had taken her over.

 At some point she lost her reservations about what was happening and totally surrendered to him. That's what I had been waiting for.

There was a primal excitement in seeing his black body between my wife's legs working away to cum in her. 

...Two very different people had now synchronized their movement with the same primal objective: him to shoot his sperm deep into my wife and her to receive it.

...After a while she wrapped her legs around him and started making the noises she makes when she's starting to cum. Once she did, she couldn't deny this had worked.

" From being prejudiced about black men I watched her move to a point of willingly surrendering herself in one in the most intimate way possible."


...When it was obvious that he was about to cum, she glanced at me to see if I knew. She saw that I wasn't about to stop things. Then, she pulled him tight against her and loudly encouraged him.

...I'm sure she felt the moment when he released his sperm in her, and given her reaction I got the impression that she came as he did.

In this e-mail we can note several things which will be discussed below.

More Motivations For Black-on-White Sex

       A white wife having an affair with a black man provides "risk' on several levels -- for both the husband and his wife.

" First, even though she's using birth control, a virile black man ejaculating into a white wife conjures up thoughts of pregnancy. "


There is also the excitement surrounding people finding out that a white woman has "gone black" (has been blackened) with all the associated folklore. 

" Husbands commonly feel that their wives will not leave them for someone 'so different,' and thus they may feel safe in having their wives engage in black-on-white sex."

 Wives vs. Girlfriends

There is an ever-growing number of husbands that are encouraging their wives to have experiences with new sexual partners -- as long as the husbands retain ultimate control. This level of control is not possible with girlfriends. 

Although there is still a social stigma surrounding a "wandering wife," society is slowly moving to the time when affairs will be reluctantly accepted, or at least forgiven. The United States is behind many other countries in this regard.

A recent study indicated that almost 50% of women are seriously tempted to have sex with someone other than their spouse or live-in partner. The percentage is slightly higher for men.

Such findings bring the issue of innate monogamy among human beings into question. Citing evolutionary evidence, some people say that monogamy is actually an imposed human condition and not a natural one.

Although affairs used to signify cheating, it's not considered  "cheating" when the husband approves and even encourages the wife to experience new lovers.

 As noted on some of the letters on this site, some wives encourage their husbands to allow them to experiment with new sexual partners. Once she has her husband's approval she doesn't risk destroying a marriage as she would with a clandestine affair.

And, after a decade or so of marriage many wives welcome the chance to experience sex with someone new.

Although either can be a major threat to a relationship, compared to a live-in girlfriend. a wife affords more control for the husband and more security than a live-in girlfriend.

Black partners, which seem to be less of a threat to a relationship, are especially popular with white husbands and white wives.

Any one that surveys today's porno can note that an inordinately large percentage of porno photos and videos involve white women with black partners.

But, as we've heard from writers, there can be a problem.

Once she gets used to a larger penis size and higher level of sexual endurance, excitement, and clitoral stimulation, she may not be able to be satisfied by less. She may become dependent upon these things to reach orgasm.

Thus, there may be a grain of truth in the saying, "Once you've had black, you won't go back."

" White wife: 'I just wanted to experience it once [black on white sex] but soon I wanted to regularly experience it.' "

Interestingly, some white husbands want their wives to develop this "problem" so than a more threatening affair with a white man will not be as tempting or satisfying.

We also can't discount the effect that sexual excitement surrounding the "taboo" aspects of black-on-white sex.

In a time of social conformity many women see it as a subtle act of rebellion. This is especially true of white, teen-age girls that vie for desirable black boyfriends.

black-on-white Although white women may not consider a black man as a permanent mate, she can experience excitement in having sex with someone that is quite different from the white men she's used to.

As women/wives get older, they may desire more sex -- more than their (generally older) husbands can provide.

 For many white wives carefully selected black lovers are the answer. In many cases this is with the husband's approval, or even encouragement.

" I know my wife's black lover keeps her satisfied in a way that I no longer can. She's happy, he's happy and I've adjusted, so what's the harm? "
From email


There are other reasons for the fascination with black-on-white sex.

A popular explanation is that these men want to see women (and their wives) humbled or "tamed" by an act that society still considers somewhat "taboo."

We hear from women writers that the black men they meet tend to be much more aggressive, thus breaking through their sexual reservations.

A black lover may get a wife to do things that her husband would not suggest -- and she would refuse to do if he did.

This, in itself, has been the motivation for some husbands to suggest black lovers.

" The main complaint centers on problems with different values."


Some explanations for black-on-white sex are not too popular -- as for example, the degradation explanation.

For some men watching their wives suck on a black penis or welcoming it inside of her is the height of this experience. (Ironically, some wives feel that doing this in front of their husbands is humiliating for them -- so maybe everyone gets what they want.)

Female Submission

We also can't discount the fact that some women have a psychological for submission. (Most of the reasons are beyond the scope of this article.)

 In terms of evolution, female submission often preceded impregnation -- and in a sense was necessary for it. 

It's easy to see how this trait could be passed along in progeny.

Possibly this is another trait subsumed in evolution which cultural and religious values have attempted to suppress with varying degrees of success.

And then there is this.

This also explains some of the black pimp - white prostitute relationships. 

Although we might assume that being a prostitute is never by choice, for some women it meets a psychological need.      

As we suggested earlier, sexual excitement is enhanced by risk.

In today's society many people are looking for things that will break them free of the routine and mundane and add excitement to their lives. Since black-on-white sex is still somewhat taboo, this can add that element.

A less popular explanation (for many men) is that many black men are large and muscular resembling the athletes they see on TV and that excites latent homosexual feelings. (Despite what they might admit, no man is absolutely, 100%, heterosexual.)

" Anti-sex cultural conditioning makes many women come across as 'above sex.'  Seeing his wife adjust to and eventually even want to have sex with black men can destroy this attitude. " 


According to one husband, "She didn't act nearly as 'high and mighty' once people knew she was regularly getting it from black men. Although this reveals prejudice, nevertheless it's a reality in some cases.

At the same time, many men are threatened by an uninhibited wife with a strong sexual appetite.

This is reflected in fact that of some religions and religious groups that have instituted strict anti-sex religious which, historically, were aimed primarily at women.

And need we mention the female genital mutilation intended (by men) to keep women from enjoying sex?

It is reported that during early times only a woman could commit adultery and men were free to have multiple wives and even visit prostitutes.

A somewhat more admirable motivation is represented by husbands who have written to say they wanted their wives to experience some sort of a maximum sexual experience not limited by marital exclusivity.

 " Once a wife has a few lovers and she sees her husband has no problem with it, she may begin to savor her sexual freedom and the attention of men -- the kind of attention that a great many wives say is missing in their marriages. "  

And, finally, one of the more "far out" explanations for black-on-white sex is based in reincarnation.

This one holds that men who push their wives to have black lovers (or white women who seek black lovers) had black slaves in previous lives and this is an unconscious way of balancing the karmic scales.

We will leave you to accept or reject that one.

        As racial barriers continue to fall, at some point we may be able to erase tensions and misunderstandings based on race.

Children from these mixed relationships -- and even now there are many -- will represent a racial meld that will span racial categories and (hopefully) eventually erase racial divides.


NOTE: Sexual disease is especially high in black and Latino groups. It is estimated that almost of half of people with sexually-transmitted infections don't tell a new partner. Sex with anyone other than a trusted partner requires protection generally in the form of a condom. Although if properly used, condoms provide a high degree of protection, that protection is not 100%.