The Fascination With

Black-on-White Sex



"Blacking" My Wife

(First, the e-mail, and then a discussion by Dr. Weston on the fascination with black-on-white sex.)

" Studies show that in the last few decades the libidos (sexual drive) of white, American men has been dropping.
This is causing many white women with strong sexual needs to turn to black lovers -- often with their husband's permission and even encouragement. "

From e-mail

        Ever since I saw this movie about a black football player making it with a white woman that looked like my wife, I haven't been able to get the fantasy out of my mind

Judging from the hundreds of Internet sites devoted to black-on-white sex, I know that this idea is popular with men—mostly with white, middle-to-upper-class men like me.

 I think having a wife that uninhibited would be exciting.

 Why do white men like me want to see this?

        This may not be the mystery it seems — although some men may not like a few parts of the explanation.

Before we get to that, readers say that one of the most detailed explanations for this is right here on this site. This account explains many of the motivations.  

" Records dating back hundreds of years show that white women had sex with black slaves (and sometimes got pregnant) back when black-on-white sex was totally taboo. 

Although clearly engaged in, it was almost never mentioned in polite society. "


        Considering the slave situation back then, the sex appears to have often been invited by the woman.

The major motivations were facts that the husband was often away from the plantation for long periods of time while a wife was observing a virile, muscular black man working around the plantation.

The fact that women get horny just as men do was not accepted back then. 

So some wives secretly satisfied their needs by coupling with willing black slaves. If they got pregnant, they might find a sudden need to visit a relative in another country until the babies were born.

In those days many slaves were selected and even bred for work for their physical attributes -- characteristics that have remained significant throughout the centuries.

Today, many women find the idea of black-on-white sex intriguing -- especially with the folklore about the attributes of black lovers.

In some circles a white women having a black lover is for her a symbol of sexual prowess. This often starts in high school.

Although some say black male attributes are just folklore based on Internet porn, there is solid evidence that black men on average have penises somewhat longer and bigger around than white or Asian men. 

Because they typically have more physical lifestyles, they also tend to be able to continue sex longer, thus having a greater chance of bringing the woman to orgasm. 

We know from our e-mail, if nothing else, that a significant number of white women who are married to low libido white men have black lovers.

All this accounts for some of the Internet traffic to mixed-race sites (and even to this site), but it doesn't explain the great black-on-white interest that many middle-class white males have in black-on-white sex.

Some of our letters provide clues.

The following are parts of a white male's letter we received but didn't publish a the time, because it was a bit too graphic. (You've been warned.)

I had never experienced more sexual excitement than when I watched Arnold, a muscular black man crawl on top of my pretty little white wife and push his very large cock up into her.

I'll never forget the expression on her face when she realized it was happening.

I knew this would change things for her, especially when people found out.

...The whole thing had been my idea.  But even after a few drinks, she was nervous enough to insist that I stay in the room.

I'd heard he had a big penis and that he could go a long time.

I not only wanted my wife to experience both, but at the same time, get past her little issue with blacks.

When he approached her [on the bed] she had her legs locked together. Then he started softly talking to her.

...After he undid her blouse and bra started sucking on her breasts, she gradually relaxed.

In my mind it was critical that she reach a point of not wanting things to stop.

Even so, it took her a long time for her to open her legs -- making the invitation clear.

For me the anticipation had been incredible.

Seeing his large, black cock disappear up into my wife caused my heart to race to a point I thought that I was going to have a heart attack. 

...Their bodies were totally different. His was black and muscular and he was on top of a body that was very white and delicate looking -- and very familiar to me.

" He was able to just keep going -- much longer than I ever could.  I knew that's what it was going to take for her. "

...Arnold was holding her down with her hands above her head and was fully into her.

I liked seeing the way he had taken her over.

 At some point she lost her reservations about what was happening and totally surrendered to him. That's what I had been waiting for.

...Two very different people had now synchronized their movement with the same primal objective: him to shoot sperm into my wife and her to receive it.

...Seeing his black body between my wife's legs working away to come in her is something I will never forget!

...After a while she wrapped her legs around him and started making the noises she makes when she's starting to come. Once she came, she couldn't deny this had worked.

" From being prejudiced about black men I watched her move to a point of willingly surrendering herself in one in the most intimate way possible. "

...When it was obvious that he was about to come, she glanced at me to see if I knew. Then, she pulled him tight against her and loudly encouraged him.

I got the distinct impression that she came as he did.

In this e-mail we can note several things which will be discussed below.

Motivations For Black-on-White Sex

       We know from studies that for many people "risk" increases sexual excitement and facilitates orgasms.

A white wife having an affair with a black man provides "risk' on several levels -- for both the husband and his wife.

" First, even though she's using birth control, a black man ejaculating into a white wife conjures up the thought of pregnancy. "


There is also the excitement surrounding people finding out that a white woman has "gone black" (has been blackened) with all the associated folklore. 

According to one husband, "Given the women that try to avoid sex, I would secretly like it to be known that my wife is woman enough to handle a 'black stallion.' "

" Putting a wife with a black lover holds another attraction to husbands with cuckold personalities. 

These husbands commonly feel that their wives will not leave them for someone 'so different,' and thus they may feel safe in having their wives engage in black-on-white sex. "


     But, as we've heard from writers, there can be a problem.

Once she gets used to a larger penis size and higher level of sexual endurance and excitement, not to mention the clitoral stimulation, she may not be able to be satisfied by less.

Soon, she may become dependent upon these things  -- and especially the latter -- to reach orgasm.

Thus, there may be a grain of truth in the saying, "Once you've had black, you won't go back."

Interestingly, some white husbands want their wives to develop this "problem" so than a more threatening affair with a white man will not be as satisfying.

We also can't discount the effect that sexual excitement surrounding the "taboo" aspects of black-on-white sex. In a time of social conformity many women see it as an act of rebellion.

black-on-white Although white women may not consider a black man as a permanent mate, she can experience excitement in having sex with someone that is quite different from the WASP men she's used to.

        There are other reasons for the fascination with black-on-white sex.

A popular explanation is that these men want to see women (and their wives) humbled or "tamed" by an act that society still considers somewhat "taboo."

We hear from women writers that the black men they meet tend to be much more aggressive, thus breaking through their sexual reservations.

A black lover may get a wife to do things that not only her husband would not suggest, but she would refuse to do if he did. This, in itself, has been the motivation for some husbands to suggest black lovers.

" The place of women in society has for centuries been influenced by the anti-women, subservient tone of the Old Testament, Judeo-Christian religious scriptures.

Many people find this hard to believe until they consider the influence on religion that biblical passages like these have had throughout the centuries. "

       Some explanations for black-on-white sex are not too popular -- as for example, the degradation explanation.

For some men watching their wives suck on a black penis or welcoming it inside of her is the height of this experience. (Ironically, some wives feel that doing this in front of their husband is humiliating for him -- so maybe everyone gets what they want.)

Note that the most popular Internet porn category for white men involves videos and the tens-of-thousands of photos of white girls (including wives) giving black men oral sex. This may or may not be followed by vaginal penetration.

One site has more than 2,000 photos of different white women engaged in sex acts with with black lovers.

We also can't discount the fact that many women have a psychological need for submission.

This explains some of the black pimp - white prostitute relationships. 

Although we might assume that being a prostitute is never by choice, for some women it meets a psychological (although neurotic and sometimes dangerous) need.

 In the hotwife phenomena husbands may find it sexually stimulating to have wives that provide men with sex.

In antiquity this would have resulted in more children, and back then children were wealth.

To achieve this goal, especially when they couldn't, some husbands secretly "bred" their wives with fertile men. Since providing children was also a status symbol, a wife might readily agree.

Even today "wife breeding" is not totally uncommon.

Female Submission

       In terms of evolution, female submission often preceded impregnation -- and in a sense was necessary for it. 

It's easy to see how this trait could be passed along in progeny.

Possibly this is another trait subsumed in evolution which cultural and religious values have attempted to suppress with varying degrees of success.

And then there is this.

As we've suggested, for many people sexual excitement is enhanced by risk.

In today's society many people are looking for things that will break them free of the routine and mundane, and add excitement to their lives. Since black-on-white sex is still somewhat taboo, this can add that element.

A less popular explanation (for many men) is that many black men are large and muscular — resembling the athletes they see on TV — and that excites latent homosexual feelings. (Despite what they might admit, no man is absolutely, 100%, heterosexual.)

" Anti-sex cultural conditioning makes many women come across as 'above sex.'  Seeing his wife adjust to and eventually even want to have sex with black men can destroy this attitude. " 


According to one husband, "She didn't act nearly as 'high and mighty' once people knew she was regularly getting it from black men. Although this reveals prejudice, nevertheless it's a reality in some cases.

At the same time, many men are threatened by an uninhibited wife with a strong sexual appetite.

This is reflected in the appeal of some religions and religious groups that have instituted strict anti-sex religious beliefs, which, historically, were aimed primarily at women.

And need we mention the female genital mutilation intended (by men) to keep women from enjoying sex.

It is reported that during early times only a woman could commit adultery and men were free to have multiple wives and even visit prostitutes.

A somewhat more admirable motivation is represented by husbands who have written to say they wanted their wives to experience some sort of a maximum sexual experience not limited by marital exclusivity.

" Once a wife has a few lovers and she sees her husband has no problem with it, she may begin to savor her sexual freedom and the attention of men -- the kind of attention that a great many wives say has evaporated in their marriages. "
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       And, finally, one of the more "far out" explanations for black-on-white sex is based in reincarnation.

This one holds that men who push their wives to have black lovers (or white women who seek black lovers) had black slaves in previous lives and this is an unconscious way of balancing the karmic scales.

We will leave you to accept or reject that one.

      >>  As racial barriers continue to fall, at some point we may be able to erase tensions and misunderstandings based on race. Children from these mixed relationships -- and even now there are many -- will represent a racial meld that will span racial categories and (hopefully) eventually erase racial divides.


NOTE: Sexual disease is especially high in black and Latino groups. It is estimated that almost of half of people with sexually-transmitted infections don't tell a new partner. Sex with anyone other than a trusted partner requires protection — generally in the form of a condom. Although if properly used, condoms provide a high degree of protection, that protection is not 100%.

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